Bitter sweet love hate

You make me feel better and sweet

you are present

nerves globulate
glowing stumbling

My smile has never been so true

I feel bitter 

I have a broken smile

I cant have you 

I dont deserve you

I don't know when I will see you again 

I hate that 

you are present

You cause joy I cant explain 

anything is possible 

Airy sweet balanced

I feel bitter 

I have a broken smile

I dont know if I will always have you

I dont deserve you

I know that

I hate that 

You make me crazy

When we hug I have to tell my self to let you go

it could be worse

it could be worse

mice fightn in my kitchen
creatin holes n leavin trails
washing everyting all the time

iv lost my head
iv lost my heart
iv lost my phone
where to start

im cold im hot
im drinking trusty
my ginger ale ant even the same

thoughts are lingering
twisting my heavy soul
just go away
it could be worse
the sun continues to rise

pain. she is like my seeded passenger
she will never leave completely
good days come. good days fly

evil tips the scales
cracked blood scars
it could be worse

just hit a fucking brick

Responses man

I believe these books were picked to help with creative writing of our own. For me they have done just that. I am not at all a big fan of the books them self but I'll try to point out positives.

Annoying Diabetic Bitch by Sharon Mesmer
Although fun-ish and over the edge it does a good job showing what people write and how crazy writing has gotten. Bringing this awareness in diff rent context i.e book vs e net. It is important to be aware of our surroundings and the web has become a big part of that. Hiding behind a computer lets out this whole new harshness. Exposing people to thoughts ideas that are already there just changing there appearance or context really gets the old thinker ticking. shock factors like "snoring is a sign that gad is trying to smother you in your sleep with his little weenie"pg103 makes you wonder how messed up society has really become. looking reading and comprehending stuff like this may just turn our word around or numb it to the point where it should burn. but eh either way. 
Also flarf and how most works are flarf most thing have been said and written we just recycle and re use the words and meaning and although cool kind of depressing. It is important to be aware of. 

This is funny as shit!! unless your offended by options of others!! WARNING crude shit lol

so funny cant take it to heart! So is contex a big part of how we take in meaning? I am not a big fan of texting or email because a big part of what we say is how we say it. kind of like my following video. Does setting words to a stand up or a beat make it completely diffrent? If how we say somthing completly changes the meaning then the answe to the question must be yes. 
cleanest most chill Necro I think WARNING violent talk
and lol this video it self is lame as.

I share this crude bastard because some of his lines are sweet. "U'll die really slow if you don't appreciate life" something I’d love to scream at my grandma. In smooth this song I like "decapitated deprive your brain of oxygenated blood"!! yes ignore the ovi fact death but look at the effect purely form a biological view.

Putting something to a beat and get a whole different response. Like Chris Rock says when he is trying to defend rap in one of his stand ups. Chicks just say he aint talking about me and they go back to dancing. Does that make us numb the these hush words or does it mean we can let them scale over us when a grooven beat is upon us. Us could be to general, for not all people can let the lyrics go and just dance. Myself I still hear them but don’t take them to heart. On extreme songs with heavy messages, provoke curtain emotions I cannot ignore. Black winter day by Jedi mind tricks I always say the words in my head while I listen to it I can’t not. When I was younger I could listen to "dance with the devil by immortal technique" without a flinch. Now I have been through more yet I am more sensitive than I use to be. Maybe just exposing myself to more negative stuff than life gives just gets me down. With all our world problems and daily shit, that there is no need to allow unnecessary negativity in. There is enough shit going on. Which reminds me of "freedom of speech  immortal technique it has such a good message don’t sell out!  Artists should say what they want whether it is for emotions or greater good or pure entertainment. 

In the end this book has good purpose. I do not believe it is meant to be read front to back and taken so seriously. It does a good job of exposing our current language. It also has made me think a lot about context, meaning and writing vs music. Last semester I shrugged it off and now it has benefited my mind.

RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME TOO by MATIAS VIEGENER

The list idea has a fun spin that I like. Also when writing isn't flowing just listing things emtions has got them juices flowing again.

As for the topics in the book. I not a fan of themes repeating them self. Life does repeat it self so it's accurate but I don't like it. It can not hook my attention that's for sure. like "I remember the first game I learned in the United states as a kid. it was tag" like wtf and who cares.
some stuff is interesting to think about and its normally put into a book which is cool."When I was a kid and went to the beach, I thought sand bars were kind of a miracle. out there, land past the water over your head, and then your're standing again. the passage through water to land." pg 158 beautiful things I thought of too when I was less than a meter tall. Something I have not thought about for a long time. It is such a cool thought. The meaning, mystery or could be nothing at all. Just depends how you think about it. Over all I think this listing is a good thing to do. Just get thoughts and emotions out there and go back learn about your self and maybe get ideas for writing or expand on some. Some of the topics and readings in this book were a waste of time. In all the idea around it benefits my writing so I'm glad this book was published. 

blert by Jordan Scott

first listening to his performance of his poems I hated it. Shocker right but as I gain knowledge about myself some of the best things/people in life I start out not liking them. This is an example of that.  At first I thought this shit doesn't make sense. As I dissect it I like his work more and more. With his stutter works I like his attempt to welcome us into his world. How he tries to say something and his difficulties getting there. I have had nightmares where I have no voice that is way fd up. The intermediate of having speech but it is a struggle to speak the words you want gives me an amplified appreciation that I can. “sea cow, sea lily, seamy seamstress, sea lion, sea lettuce, sea potato, sea moth, sea holly, sea gooseberry” pg 45 the aspect of words and there difficulty similarity yet not at all. In this he gets such amazing word formations not rhyming but sound cool when spoken. Sea cow is funny all own its own, and when its thrown in with all these other non-sea things it is light and fun. “hoarfrost batter (big space) big gulp” pg 52 yes amazing words hoarfrost batter is such a cool thing to image. I really like his vocabulary and how he throws it all together. One of my favourites is pg 36. “fresh nugs mouse milking NASCAR” right ok its random but I like it. It is one of those it can have so many meanings or none at all. I think of good smell mothers and fast which could relate to childhood. Even without meaning it makes me smile.

                This book gave me new perspective on speech and made me smile with lots of words not normally put together. Reading the authors note he says “blert is a text written to be as difficult as possible for me to read. Poetically the tempo of blert” pg 64. I like this approach of trying to work with the most difficult. I did the same thing with fear throw myself into it is a good way to grow. With writing I enjoy expanding vocabulary which means a lot of time with dictionary and speech pronunciation but it is so worth it. As the book is blue it reminds me to throw self in the deep end. Have fun with words and the sounds that they make. 

Disclosure often

The photos and perspective I like here. Purely documentation has a some appeal. People are so judgemental and this give a paper view of someone. Because its a photo it can not be written which on its own is cool. It came from the view of a church person or employer. It is the format of unedited documents laying around the house. Organized into a book changes that whole perspective thing. These sad documents of what seems like a failed life is not only depressing but ugly as well. Although I think this book is a waste of paper I like the photos doing all the talking. 
In turn a book of lovely photos throughout someone life could be pretty and tell a neat unbiased story. Biased on which photos are chosen but the photo it self is pure life captured. Using documents or photos to make a book or inspire writing is an important tool in creative writing. 

literary event 

although we all saw her I didn't make it to another event so I’ll give a quick reminisce. Her personality really came out with her work and her performance. I really enjoyed that. she dug out some of her life to relate it to her work. She didn't overdo it but it did help me see where she was coming from. Funny I don’t remember her name or many of her poems. I do remember her erotic poem. Maybe because I was not expecting a public reading of that kind. I am glad she read it. So many jokes, writing and publicity is all around the subject because well it sells. It gave me a new perspective on it. Cheap and cheesy novels are not the whole category. It can be tasteful and actual ligature. For her personally in the reading and gaining my new angle the event was so worth it to go. Biggest benefit for me is too push my self to go to events even if there is no time or no money life is meant to be enjoyed. Same old retune is easy to fall into and lacks is standing out memories. 

mother fucking peace sign plz!

with every animal

a piece of my heart goes

photocopy my heart

xerox my pain

zoom in and throw it away

re use

dead frog scale

left over bunny fur

eyes serried in my memory

Dunkan my beautiful

you stole my heart 

a day does not go by

moment hits 

I try not to think about you

some days 

the crack turns to a rip

people memories creep 

closer familiar hallowed wrenching

knifes swallowed  

somewhat faded 

burns just as hot

still haunting

still haunting

burns just as hot

somewhat faded

knifes swallowed

closer familiar hallowed wrenching

people memories creep 

the crack turns to a rip

some days 

I try not to think about you

moment hits 

a day does not go by

you stole my heart 

Dunkan my beautiful

eyes serried in my memory

left over bunny fur

dead frog scale

re use

zoom in and throw it away

xerox my pain

photocopy my heart

a piece of my heart goes

with every animal

go decompose off else where anywhere like not here and fuck titles

sing I must

must I sing 

cup with water
water with cup

your abrupt presents 
I jump

skin bugs activated

smile shrivelled to nothing 

dampened moist

I see the flower

I don't like

how little you know me

her song grades 

ripping apart my drum

like she just don't care 

ear contaminated 

self motivated 

guns blazing 

poke fester 

black cloud 

wow you much

control it

I say fuck you

get punched

Unknown power

stuck in my head

who said encrypt brain?

all wants centralized

yet end up walking away

Fuck I feel crazy 

I'm sure it's one way

If it wasn't I may emplode 

loss of control 

I must be crazy 

can't  I think about anything else?

worked up mind stuck what the fuck

obsessed lines insanity 

can't recollect such magnitude 

quake, breathe, try to put it out

ya right like that's possible 

Rustys

ants throwing hatches at rainbows 

half a face half goat

rhino skin covered the sun

mutation DNA all that's left

high coasters lie dead

ground poison seed
liquid ground to powder 

neurons no longer reach the ground 

extreme files might have made it 

selfish choice echoes the empty landscape

                                                *inspired by Scott Westerfeld

edited Eat Flame Narrow Minded Lint

 it is beyond genes 

 cat minded fine spun vomit

 allies a sadistic shell

 I can't crawl into that

 how the? what the? 

 snakes complicating a tree

 loading on all fronts 

 a fungus haploid stagnating

 Haiti smirks a lonely sea

 I’m feeling like I always knew

 can I? will I? how can I? 

 linear thoughts insane

 brain bleeding alias

 watts stoking fluxing pleasure

 over whelming convolution

 shock stale flanges touch

 manipulative lackadaisical cadaverine [kuh-dav-uh-reen] [lack daze a cul

 cons tinting scrutiny

 mutiny butyraceous [but a ray sh i s]

 grape flesh clusters networking

 rotting glamour collagen 

 there is not right 

 never see it? see it now?

 acid moons beyond that rock

 rude abrasive adhesiveness

 basic solution gutting 

 thumbed vexed 

 swift and keen like ninja 

Hey you

You make My legs fall asleep

Smile is innocuous 

Imagination paralleling 

Eyes a weapon 

Tigress vibrates deep

Racing pulse illuminated  

Reality boomerang hits

Volcanic flow 

Granite to dust

Sink debre eruption 

Stalagmite piercing  

Impossible possible 

Clouds fade 

Krill in the salty deep

Long for the possibility 

its driving me

Pull the pin

Granade launched 

Compressed shel

Cushing rib cage 

Saw sails skin 

Trashing weeds 

Vexed bundle of nerves 

Epidermis stagmented 

Face heart hole

Conducting superstichel fluid 

Light house lungs barred 

Thistles drag claw 

crawl deep depths 

Surrounded and limber 

When it hits

Shortness of breath

No breath satisfies 

Lungs expand 

don't absorb 

Heart spikes 

It's sounds notifies living

Rapid unstable

breaking its walls

Stomach acid burning 

new cells can't form fast enough 

Knots intoxicated punching

Twisted shortening 

Whispers of retreat 

Mind floods negative

Freedom fictitious 

Reboot useless 

Your shaking are you ok?

Look down like a leaf

I'm fine just nerves 

It may be amplifying 

Worsening 

Didn't think it could

Taken for granted 

The beginning 

Questions

Survival

Basic

Tick tok 

My fish m.v

deep in thought

hand tingling numb

jump

them

trying to eat mouse 

pointer thing

cursed

feed them

when ever I see you

you fill me

catch and charm

relaxing and definitive
that void dissipates
lust of possibility
larger than imagination
smile takes over

lighter not focused 

constant change under radar

knockout

Bright and deadly
shine and wonder
gleam at me I gleam at you
unfathomable
we don't know each other
when I look up
peace in the moment
stars in the night sky

if you dare

Dear bloogg
co co nut smells fills the air
love and lust need nothing
warm air cold drinks
tallness of life
every little thing
happens love meaning
rivet of non formality's
beaded on a leave
on top of the world skipping
nothing matters who cares
the new rock bottom
imagination of worse
lime fungus
lucky to be alive
little things feed the rotation
fuck negative shit
embrace smiles
do what you want
shake well
caring about you
weakened and un sure
want need will get over
wildness always lurking
I am shaped
I will morph
what ifs
fat mags
seared
formed
here am now
future unknown
desires known
this isn't it
anger drama stress
early grave
blow me
I do what I want

cloud tranq

Fire lingers twisting and wrenching burning beauty feeding on thoughts blending wavelengths

crashing down without a choice crawling on the lamb roaring racing seeking

Desire revolver knits into crossed lines weaving amplified an essence of deep base fills fantasy feels twists strums along unstoppable diffusing obnoxious seeking

Aversion thick succulent dark forest moves melting poping city lights blanket haunt conquering
The ends bursting diseasing taking possessing zoogleas tiny and flocculent (flŏk′yə-lənt) seeking

Delusion boxed fixed stuck clustered knots struggle black is white nothing is either

longing escape feeling colours fluids blues mustered exploding joy seeking

Control logical struggle extinguishes Ren ex-sponged flood of delectable nothing

release luminosity peace floating serenity free bliss drift away zen

January 23 late Jade
Slowly grows into a louder pitch

Sweet silence tease is rotting 

Bolts a shrieking high

Gone ba serk like they do

No one can think about anything
but her One person in this world that's not you

Wild scale bursts at the extremes

n/a

Testing their 123

Here now and there me

As fast as I can 

Hurry but don't you worry 

Believe an unstable coexisting
Falling grasping don't last long

Deeper lower rising pressure higher kelvin

Space and time distant disengaged 

It's that just noticeable difference 

Senses glass agua fills meditation

Lovely spark setting off extra dendrites 

Interior interprets creating lightness

Smile wide and true so new
Different like Better but cant be
Pure enhanced bundle of photons